Xavier Jared

TwoShay

Two brothers on personal development, philosophy, and being awesome

How To Have A Conversation About Star Wars

Jared,

What’s this? Quick skills are small challenges that are rewarding and once mastered you’ll have forever. You can add them to your arsenal of awesome in as little as five minutes.

Skill: Have a conversation about Star Wars.
Time to Learn: 15 minutes.
Equipment: A party with at least one Star Wars nerd attending.

There isn’t a lot to Star Wars. It’s an Adventure Sci-fi that defined childhoods the world over, the soundtrack is freakin’ awesome and it is so mega famous that shit like this exists. You’ve got no excuse to not be able to hold a conversation about it and now that this guide exists, you’ll never have one.

Click here if you do not see an embedded video

Hopefully by now you have a working knowledge of the movies and realise why saying “I liked teh new ones lol” is the wrong thing to say. If you haven’t already tracked down some originals that still have the Yub Nub song in them, do so and watch them back to back. Short of our 15 minute cheat sheet this is the best way to get competent at the Star Wars

For those of you who would like some bonus points (you want these) here are a few other Star Wars topics of interest that you can read up on.

Special Editions

George showed the world new and wonderful things to do with special effects and more importantly how to use them to enhance a story. It is nothing short of spectacular irony that he now uses them to shit on basic cinematic techniques and make an epic space opera dull, cluttered and boring. One day he decided his ranch needed a few more acres so he made “Special Editions” of the Original trilogy. This allowed him to screw around with putting CGI space aliens into every shot and get another cinematic release.

The idea sucked to begin with and it’s not surprising that CGI space aliens looked as out of place as CGI FUCKING SPACE ALIENS. It is a little bit surprising that he straight up re-coloured some of the shots wrong and changed pivotal character development scenes. It’s all here if you want to read up about it. He’s actually done this a few times but I don’t care enough to find out how many. You shouldn’t care either.

Expanded Universe

The expanded universe refers to everything officially Star Wars that isn’t the films. This can be video games, comic books, novels and stupid shit George says when he is drunk.

If you’re interested start with the Thrawn trilogy by Timothy Zahn. That really brought the EU to life. Be cautious though, there is some absolute rubbish out there too. Luckily for you, and not so lucky for man kind, there is an abundance of Star Wars nerds sperging it up on the internet who will be happy to tell you, in great detail, which authors will give you a proper Star Wars fix and who to avoid like the plague.

G-Canon and the Holocron

Possibly the best thing to come out of the Star Wars train wreck is the phrase G-Canon. Regardless of what it stands for it just a really fun thing to say. Regarding what it stands for, it refers to the highest level of Star Wars Canon in a canon tiered system called the Holocron. It exists to let canon nerds definitively state what is canon. If a higher level of canon contradicts a lower level it wins. G-Canon is what ever the lord and saviour George Lucas says and there a four lower tiers going all the way down to spin off stories found in old school cereal boxes. The Holocron is a real thing. It is not made up. It is a real thing.

Protips

Who’s Better?

Jared. He wrote this so he wins. George made us all lose though and he has G-Canon on his side.

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