Xavier Jared

TwoShay

Two brothers on personal development, philosophy, and being awesome

Security For Life

Xavier,

Whatever your specific high level life goals are, the underlying motivation for most aspirations is security. Whether you want a large home and a fancy car, or belongings that fit in a back pack, or a big family, or no kids, deep down most of us basically just don’t want our lives to go to shit.

For some people, that comes in the knowledge that they have a place to live, or that they will have someone compelled to look after them when they are old. This is a traditional view of security, and it is somewhat fragile. Houses burn down, kids drift away from their parents, and generally far too many things outside your control can come along and wreck up the place.

A photo from Linda Yvonne

Leading a minimalist lifestyle does not fix this problem, it only costs less money. If you lose your back pack, you are suddenly in the same position as someone whose house just burnt down. The magnitude of the loss may be different, but you are in the same bind.

Yes, you may be stacking the odds with these choices, but there is better conception of security to aspire to.

Not Your Stuff

Security is having full confidence that you can deal with whatever life throws at you. Are you so good at what you do that if you ever lost your job there would be another waiting, even in a depression? Are you so charismatic that you can find new friends in any bar you walk into? Are you calm enough that you can be happy even when your flight is delayed for hours on end? I don’t expect you to answer yes to all of these—I got pretty cranky while delayed on the Houston tarmac earlier—but having confidence that you can deal with any of these situations is the best form of security. It is practically free insurance.

It does not matter whether or not you are good at any of these things now; just like you can invest in a nice house, you can invest in your psychology. As an example first step towards each of the above situations: find a local meet up for your industry; read Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends And Influence People”; start learning about and practicing meditation. Of course you will never be able to deal with set backs if you don’t start learning how!

People who can knock the curve balls out of the park haven’t always been able to do so: they practiced (whether consciously or not) and got better, just as you should do. If you are not sure where to start, start small. Learn to deal with the tiny crises, such as overspending on your credit card or burning your dinner, and as your knowledge and skills improve you will be able to take on and deal with larger and larger challenges.

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t have a nice house, or the life of a monk, or any other lifestyle you choose. Just know that they are not security in and of themselves. They should be a flow on effect from being secure in your self, and your own abilities.

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