Xavier Jared


Two brothers on personal development, philosophy, and being awesome

The Guy In The Giraffe


I’m posting this from Rockhampton in northern Queensland, where I’m about to go out and operate a life-sized giraffe costume at the Rockhampton show. As an IT guy, this isn’t my average day on the job.

It’s not easy being a giraffe. First you have to be comfortable walking on tall stilts (1.35m, I also experimented with 1.5m). The old lady next door never fails to admonish me for such “dangerous” activities, even though I dare say she has likely never been in my position. Everyone assumes you need a helmet, though it’s nigh impossible to hit your head. Like a falling cat, if you do fall you have plenty of time to rotate on to your knees, where your knee pads save you from harm. Falling only happens on beer soaked mud though, and there’s usually a punter you can land on to break the fall.

Next you need to get used to walking on all fours, with your arms in extended crutches. This is more stable than just two legs, but is physically taxing. Humans were designed to walk, not crawl. It takes 20 minutes just to get into this thing before you even start a set. Lastly, you’re cooped up inside a chest cavity with poor ventilation. There’s a snot rag tied to the inside, for your comfort.

You know what, though? I’m a freaking giraffe. People love giraffes. Kids run around your legs, adults make the same bad jokes, and you just stand there being tall. I’m making people happy, just by standing there.

I’m about to post a photo. There’s a lot of it—be patient, keep scrolling. I need you to know just how tall this thing is.

The giraffe being tall

Pretty tall hey.

This gig was outside my comfort zone, and outside my primary expertise. So I said yes. Opportunities like this don’t come along everyday. I’m only on this earth once. When I’m old and grey and looking back on my life, do I want to regret never being the guy in the giraffe? No way.

I’ve put myself in a position where I can say yes. This is one of the reasons I quit my full time job. When Jodie asked “do you want to come to Rockhampton for a week for a giraffe gig?” I didn’t answer “I don’t think I have any leave accrued.” I didn’t answer “I’ve got too many assignments due that week.” I answered “yes”.

I don’t know what other things I’ll be able to say yes to. You’ll never know until you put yourself in the position of being able to say it. People don’t even offer you gigs during the week if they know you’re at work. You can’t even say yes to yourself.

We’re going on a road trip to the moon next month—wanna come?

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